How NOT to pick up a girl at the grocery store

I work for an undisclosed 911 consolidated center. We handle all 911, police, fire, ems, public works, DOT, animal control, public safety calls.. and probably 19 more things I've forgotten to add. At this undisclosed center we cover 2 counties.. although those unnamed counties may look small we handle a lot of calls. By handling a lot of calls we talk to a lot of different people.. and a lot of the same people over and over. I love my job. I truly do. Its a wonderful job. I love being able to help people in their time of need. I love making a difference. I couldn't think of any other place I'd rather work. BUT my job also gives me an opportunity to talk to some um... interesting (for lack of a more politically correct term) people and hear some interesting stories. A lot of those stories seem to come from something as simple as myself or a co worker visiting a gas station or a grocery store on lunch break.

 Friday when I stopped at Walmart on my way home from buying a blow dryer I was in my work uniform and the cashier asked me "oh are you related to a Curfew that's a cop?"  I told her yes and she goes on about how he responded to her house the other day and helped them out and how nice he was. People are always reading our uniforms. One of the best comments while in check out at a gas station always seems to be "Oh you work for 911!? So like if I call there right now will you answer!?" um.... ...... .... sure.

So tonight during the blizzard I run to Winco to grab a Lunchable and a banana on my break. I am walking through the produce isle when I see this guy (maybe early 20's) starring at the leafy greens. He's also starring at me approaching so I know he's going to ask me something. "Excuse me Ma'am, do you know what kale is?" Oh that's easy. I worked for several years in the produce dept of Harmon's. I know my produce :)

So I start looking at the greens. He points to one and says

Him-Is this it?

Me-No that's mustard greens. It looks similar though.

Him-(pointing) Is this it?

Me-No that's a rhubarb

Him-(pointing) Is this it?

Me-No its Bok Choy... Kale looks really similar to this ( I hold up mustard greens and make it a point to physically point to the band around the produce that has the name on it)

Him-(pointing) Is this it?

Me-No that's collard greens.. again pointing to the tag that's labeled ON IT.

Him-(pointing) Is this it?

Me-No that's leeks.. it looks similar to this.. again I point to the mustard greens

Him-(pointing) Is this it?

Me- NO that's a rutabaga!

At this point I am done. I mean I'm all for helping but duh. I told you what it looks like and you're not even pointing to similar things. So I say sorry and try to walk off. He blurts out "so do you eat a lot of vegetables?" I said "Not a lot of leafy greens" he tells me "well you should! They're very good for you. Do you work with children" I probably gave him the dumbest look ever trying to figure out how children and leafy greens go together. I politely told him NO and turned to walk off.

He starts to read my shirt out loud." W**** A*** D******* So like is that like the police?"

 I said "yes"

 He says to me "I wonder if I call you a lot!!!"

 I replied "uh do you call the police a lot????"

He says " yeah I have" (all enthusiastically)

By this point I'm trying to be polite but I'm walking off. He tells me "I eat a lot of vegetables. I'm just going to buy the mustard greens its the same price. You have to (mumble mumble mumble something I'm still walking off) because I walk everywhere.

Ok so if you eat a lot of vegetables why are we playing 20 questions in the produce section?????

So lets see.. you've pretty much just admitted

 #1 you cant read.. I keep pointing to the WORDS printed on the vegetables and you didn't get it

#2 you cant listen.. I keep saying no it looks like mustard greens and you're pointing to a rutabaga

#3 you call the police a lot.. chicks dig that

 #4 you don't have any form of transportation.

Joe's lucky this man didn't sweep me off into the sunset right there in the produce section of Winco!